CUSTODY & PARENTING

When your marriage ends, your role as a parent does not – and neither does your former spouse’s.  Both of you love your children and, just like the court, want to do what’s in their “best interest.”

Now that you’re divorcing, you must make custody and parenting arrangements.  How the two of you handle these arrangements will have an enormous impact on how well your children cope during and after your divorce.

Legal custody refers to whether one or both of the parents make legal decisions regarding any child under the age of 18 years old – such as educational, medical or religious choices.  A court can give parents joint legal custody, in which case they make such decisions together, or give one parent sole legal custody, in which case that custodial parent makes decisions alone, although the other still has a right to be kept fully informed.  

Physical custody refers to the child’s living arrangements.  A court can give both parents physical custody, in which even they share parenting time on an approximately equal basis, or it can give one parent primary physical custody and the other more limited parenting time.

Factors to Consider 

What’s best for your children depends on many factors.  You and your spouse would be good candidates for joint custodial arrangements if you’re both good parents, trust each other to make wise decisions, can each set aside the personal differences that gave rise to the divorce because your primary focus is on what’s best the your child, and there is no history of any domestic violence or other control-related issues.

Other factors considered by the courts may include age of the parent, continuity of residence, disability of either parent, drug or alcohol abuse, mental health issues, which parent is more willing and able to address medical and educational problems of the child, any psychological instabilities, consistency in parenting, tidiness of the home, any issues relating to leaving the children home unattended, etc.  

Advantages and Disadvantages of Custodial Arrangements

• While joint custodial arrangements may be preferred, this arrangement requires both parents to work well together.  Conflicts can and often do crop up between the philosophies of parents regarding child rearing.  Should one parent attempt to keep the child(ren) away from another parent who also has custody, the second parent can have a Judge order the first parent into court – and this gets expensive as it relates to legal fees. 
  
• Joint custodial arrangements require that both parents live close to one another in order to work in the child’s best interest; otherwise, children end-up being shuttled from place to place and the non-cooperation between parents can have devastating effects on children.

Parenting Time

When parents do not share physical custody, the non-custodial parent is awarded visitation, known in Massachusetts as “parenting time.”  Most often, the parents agree to a specific schedule as a means of providing stability for the children. 

Additionally, Attorney Irwin M. Pollack encourages parents to not get caught in the trap of focusing on who has “custody” of the children.  Custody is an unfortunate term, used with prisoners and things that we own.  Hopefully, your children are neither!  To learn more, listen to our May seminar here.

Overall, you’re best served drafting a shared parenting schedule that makes sense for you and your children.  When will each child be with you?  A primary concern should also be how you handle holiday and vacation schedules. 

Common Challenges Between Parents 

• Clothing – Each parent should provide adequate day-to-day clothing, although seasonal or specialty items can be transported back-and-forth (and returned in good, clean condition).
  
  
• Transportation – Both parents should share the pick-up and drop-off responsibilities.  Our attorneys strongly suggest pick-ups and drop-offs occur at neutral locations in order to minimize contact or contentiousness amongst parents in front of the children.
  
  
• Arguments – Exchanges should not be spoiled with discussions of adult issues like child support or scheduling issues related to birthdays, holidays & special occasions, etc.
  
  
• Medical Needs – Parents should exchange all medications, medical instructions and other information that protect the care and well-being of the child(ren).
  
  
• Denying Parenting Time – Time should be encouraged and facilitated by both parents and should not be denied on the basis of minor illness, “other plans,” or reasons unilaterally established by the parent or child.
  
  
• Extracurricular Activities – Parents should make every effort to cooperate and not schedule activities that interfere with the others’ parenting time.  Moreover, even though each parent should agree with extracurricular-related activities, the best agreements specifically state how “no activity should be unreasonably denied.”

As part of our menu of products and services, our Flat-Fee Divorce Attorneys offer a Premium Parenting Plan which generates a comprehensive agreement which will be ready for you and your spouse to sign and file with the court.  The agreement addresses over 100 issues and is a legal binding contract between you and you spouse.  Never rely on verbal agreements – always put things into writing!  Learn More

Warning to Parents! 

If a child is ever placed in danger by parenting time, a Massachusetts Probate & Family Court Judge may deny, restrict or impose supervision as a condition to parenting time. 

What is Supervised Visitation?

Supervised Visitation is parent and child contact overseen by a third party, in which the primary focus is the protection and safety of the child through supervision of the adult participants.  Supervised centers or individuals may assist in supervised exchanges, on-site or community-based visitation, therapeutic visitation, etc.

When it comes to contested custody battles, our attorneys have experience providing zealous and competent representation to assert your interests forcefully in court whenever issues present themselves relating to:

• Relocation of a child to another state
  
  
• Changing your custody plan
  
  
• Alcohol or drug abuse and testing
  
  
• Unstable or emotionally destructive behavior
  
  
• Diagnosed or apparent mental illness such as bipolar disorder, depression, etc.

Our attorneys have zealously advocated both sides of the custody and parenting argument.  Even after the Court has made an order, it’s important to recognize that parenting issues are subject to review and can be modified in the event of a changed circumstance to either parent.  Learn More

When it comes to custody and parenting issues, we welcome clients who demand excellence.  We can help you solve the puzzle of an uncontested divorce, or you can turn to our tough litigators and trial lawyers at The Massachusetts Family Law Group who thrive on high-conflict and complex matters. 

Learn more about Custody and Parenting Plans here.

Get started on your flat-fee divorce matter, or contact us for a no-obligation consultation on your contested divorce.  Our offices are all over Massachusetts – call (800) 910-DIVORCE.